Scared

I had another BT (blood test) and US (ultrasound) this morning. My follies (follicles) have grown a bit since last Wednesday but only two are "ready" according to the nurse. The rest are "average". I have one follicle that's still 9mm but the rest are >10mm, just not big enough. At the rate I'm going I'll probably have EC (egg collection) on Wednesday which I think is a bit late since it would be Day 20 of my cycle. But that's not my only concern. During the scan, the nurse found an endometrioma near my left ovary. Now, that's scary. I was just operated on by my FS (fertility specialist) last October for endometriosis!!! I don't understand why it's coming back so soon. I'm afraid they'll tell me that it's going to affect this cycle and that I can't continue. 

I have at least 2 hours before the nurse's call. I'm nervous beyond words and I can feel the tension building in my nape. I won't be surprised if I give myself stiff neck. That's why I decided to write this entry -- so I can at least whinge!!!.

P.S. I want to share this 'quote' I got while I was watching One Tree Hill S08E18 last week :

Every child comes with a message that God is not yet discouraged of us.

Beautiful, right?

Booked!

No, not the kind that can be read. Not even remotely close to that, because I enjoy books. I am (tentatively) booked for a day surgery on the 8th of October. Just a brief history: my husband and I found out that I have endometriosis December of last year. Our specialist wanted to operate immediately but at that time we were flying out to Manila for our holiday. We agreed that I would have the operation once we get back from our hols. As fate would have it the operation was postponed (again) because when we got back to Sydney my husband was told that he was being assigned to Tamworth. It all happened so fast, next thing we knew we weren't Sydneysiders anymore. Sad!

Anyway, we finally decided to have the surgery scheduled two weeks from now. It just a day surgery which means I get to go 'home' the same day. We're planning to leave Tamworth on the 7th, stay for 3 nights at a hotel close to the surgery venue then go back to Tamworth on Sunday the 10th.

I would be lying if I say that I'm not scared. Heck, I've been scared ever since we found out that I need to have the operation. I've never had something like this happen to me ever. The closest I got to being in a hospital was a 4-hour stay at the emergency room because I was having ulcer attacks and no amount of pain killer could numb the pain. I had to be injected with morphine just so I could sleep and not feel anything. But this one's different. Somebody is going to cut into my body! Thank God I would be put under general anaesthesia so I won't feel a thing during the surgery. It's the 'after the surgery' that I'm afraid of. Amidst all my apprehensions and fear, I have faith that God will always look after me. :)