Scared

I had another BT (blood test) and US (ultrasound) this morning. My follies (follicles) have grown a bit since last Wednesday but only two are "ready" according to the nurse. The rest are "average". I have one follicle that's still 9mm but the rest are >10mm, just not big enough. At the rate I'm going I'll probably have EC (egg collection) on Wednesday which I think is a bit late since it would be Day 20 of my cycle. But that's not my only concern. During the scan, the nurse found an endometrioma near my left ovary. Now, that's scary. I was just operated on by my FS (fertility specialist) last October for endometriosis!!! I don't understand why it's coming back so soon. I'm afraid they'll tell me that it's going to affect this cycle and that I can't continue. 

I have at least 2 hours before the nurse's call. I'm nervous beyond words and I can feel the tension building in my nape. I won't be surprised if I give myself stiff neck. That's why I decided to write this entry -- so I can at least whinge!!!.

P.S. I want to share this 'quote' I got while I was watching One Tree Hill S08E18 last week :

Every child comes with a message that God is not yet discouraged of us.

Beautiful, right?

Yet Another Post About Jabbing

I'm now on Day 13 of jabbing. I had another blood test (my 6th this cycle) and ultrasound (my 4th) this morning. My follicles are taking their sweet time growing so I'm a bit apprehensive. The nurse said I shouldn't worry much as my body is probably just taking it's time responding to the drugs but I can't help it. She thinks I have to come in for another blood test and ultrasound on Friday and that I'll probably have my egg collection on Monday. I'll have to wait for the nurse's call this afternoon about my results first to confirm this. Hopefully  my oestrogen level is still up.

On to jabbing. I'm getting the hang of it as it has been almost two weeks since I started. Gonal-f is fairly easy to inject as it's a pen-type thing. Cetrotide is another matter altogether. It's a bit complicated as there are steps involved: preparing, mixing and drawing. I'm lucky because my husband does those things for me. I just have to do the jabbing. Thing is Cetrotide stings, a LOT. But it's still fairly manageable. The nurse suggested putting ice on the injection area 10 minutes before jabbing. I haven't tried it yet.

I am now watching Gossip Girl while I (impatiently) await the nurse's call. :)

2011 Sydney Royal Easter Show

Sadly, we weren't able to go to Port Macquarie over the Easter long weekend. I had blood test and ultrasound on Good Friday and when the nurse rang me for the results that arvo, she said I had another blood test and ultrasound scheduled for Monday. My husband and I talked about it and decided to cancel the trip since Port Macquarie is about 5 hours drive from Sydney. I was so sad that day, I wanted to cry. But what can we do? As my friend Jeana said, some things are more important than others. And so Saturday came. We were at home thinking of things to do when my husband got a call from his Uni friend who lives in Canberra. He asked if he and his family (wife and two kids) could come visit us. Of course we said yes. They arrived Saturday evening so we planned to go to the Easter Show the day after.

We've never been to the Easter Show ever so my husband and I were excited! Here are some of the pictures we took:

Manabat Family from Canberra =)

dagwood dog & lemonade

slinky apple

We didn't get to try any of the rides. We were happy just walking around and soaking up the atmosphere. We got to watch a lumberjack show, though. We also didn't buy any showbags. *gasp* I wanted to buy one or two but my husband talked me out of buying by asking the all important question: Do you really, really need it? Don't feel sorry for me though. I got my "revenge" when we went to the factory outlet on Monday but that's for another entry. >:)

We had fun at the Easter Show. Hopefully we can go back next year. :)
How was your Easter?

Queen of Jabs

I'm on Day 5 of Antagonist cycle today. Since the injections are taken at night, it means I've had four injections of Gonal-f so far. I was so afraid the first time I had to do it. My husband wouldn't do it for me. He's afraid of hurting me more, I guess. My hands were shaking, heck my whole body was shaking! I just prayed for the Lord to help me. What do you know, it's not as bad as I anticipated it to be. Don't get me wrong, I still feel nervous whenever it's injection time but somehow I'm getting used to it. Which is a good thing, right? :)

I had another blood test done yesterday morning to check if I could start with the other injection (Cetrotide). A nurse rang me yesterday afternoon to say that I'm not ready for Cetrotide yet and to just continue with Gonal-f. I am booked for another blood test on Wednesday, as well as an ultrasound -- my first this cycle. I have a feeling I'll be ready for Cetrotide come Wednesday afternoon. This means I'll be taking two injections each night, starting Wednesday. What fun! NOT! A friend remarked that soon I'll be queen of needles. I guess she's right. Haha!

My husband and I agree that we should not only hope for the best outcome in this journey, but also keep in mind that we may also get an unfavourable result. We know that if it is God's will then in His time we will have our little bundle of joy. :)

P.S. In observance of Holy Week, my husband and I decided to give up sweets -- chocolates, cakes, pies, ice cream, you name it.  Fruits are exempted as they're healthy and I'm trying to eat healthier nowadays. :)

Green Means Go

The nurse from the clinic rang me this afternoon to say I can start with the Gonal-f injections tonight. She said that our specialist is quite pleased with the results of my blood test this morning. Thank God! We can finally begin this journey.

A friend of mine lent me a book entitled The Heavenly Man. It's a book about Brother Yun. I've only just began reading it and already I feel inspired by his story. This book couldn't have come at a much better time in my life. The injections seem like a big task but I have an even bigger God. :)

Ready As I'll Ever Be - Part 2

Tomorrow morning we're going into the IVFAustralia clinic at Westmead for my first blood test. If the results are good, I'll be injecting my first dose of Gonal-f tomorrow evening. Self-injecting feels like a daunting task. I feel scared. But I know I can do it. I have to do it! :)

P.S. I put part 2 in the title because I have a post last year with the same title. I wrote that entry before my surgery. Seems like I'm in for more surgeries this year. I say BRING IT! I know that the Lord is always with me amidst all these challenges. :)

And Now We Wait

For my period that is. Sorry if this is too much information. ;)

We went to our Orientation Visit with a nurse in the IVFAustralia clinic in the city this morning. I am quite happy because everything was explained in detail -- the timeline, the drugs, the egg collection, the embryo transfer and much more. I also got to practice with the injections. Now I'm not as scared as before, which is good. We've been given yet more readings about IVF -- information overload, really. But I'm not complaining. I want both my husband and I to be as prepared as we can be going into this journey.

I just realized that we, more so I, will need heaps of patience during this process. I'm hoping to develop that as I hate waiting. Wish me/us luck! :)

Easter Holiday 2011

We've finally finalized our Easter Holiday destination this year -- Port Macquarie! We will be staying in Seychelles Apartments with three other families. We are in the process of building our itinerary and researching about things to do there -- the FUN part I reckon. :)

We celebrated Easter last year in Coffs Harbour. Good times! We would have wanted to go back there but it would be a much longer drive now that we're back in Sydney. Living in Tamworth definitely had its advantages. Sometimes I wish we were still back there. [Who would've have thought I'd say the last sentence! Haha.]

On another note, I'm quite nervous about our IVF Orientation Visit tomorrow. We originally wanted to bring the car with us as I got so dizzy and I felt sick during our train ride home last week. Upon factoring parking fee and bus fares, we decided against the car and agreed to just take the train to the city again. Hopefully tomorrow's travel will be much kinder to me. I will update as soon as I can tomorrow. :)

Hope y'all had a wonderful Monday!

And So Another Journey Begins

Our TTC (Trying To Conceive) journey is about to take another path -- the IVF path.

After my surgery (hysteroscopy and laparoscopy) last October 2010, our fertility specialist told us to try to get pregnant naturally for about 3 to 4 months. And so we did. Unfortunately, I did not fall pregnant. So last Tuesday we went back to our specialist for a consultation and we all decided to have IVF-ICSI. Our specialist is very optimistic, saying that both my husband and I are still young and that I still have "plenty of eggs". I just turned 31 while my husband is 32. According to the book that IVFAustralia gave us, ICSI or Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection is the fertility technique where a single sperm is selected and directly injected into an egg.

Aside from the book, we were also given a CD about IVF so you can just imagine the information that my husband and I are going through right now so we can be better prepared for IVF. It's not going to be an easy journey. I just hope that no matter what happens, my husband and I will be closer than ever, of course with God in our centre.

Here in Australia, we are very lucky because the majority of the fertility treatment costs are covered by Medicare. It's not to say it will be cheap but still, we're better off here than most countries.

I'm nervous, scared and excited all at the same time. We are going back to the clinic on Tuesday for our Orientation Visit. It's when the nurses will explain our treatment cycle to us, the medications I will need to take and the times I will be required to visit the clinic for blood and ultrasound tests. They'll also teach us how to administer the hormones and other medications through injection. Now I'm a little bit apprehensive about that. I hope I get the hang of it right away. :)