The Year That Was 2011

Only 5 days left 'til Christmas! This will only be the second time my husband and I will celebrate Christmas here in Sydney. The first was in 2008. We've been spending our holidays in Manila the past two years. This year we couldn't go home because I'm due to give birth in January so we flew my mum and youngest sister here instead. It would've been great if the family could all be here but of course that's not a possibility.

As what I did last year, I'd like to look back on all the things that happened to me & my family this year.

January - My husband and I welcomed the New Year with my family in Manila. We flew back to Sydney just before my husband's birthday. We didn't have our own place yet (we lived in Tamworth before we went on our holiday) so we stayed with our friends in Gladesville while we were looking for one. Luckily, we found a unit in Mount Druitt before the month ended. We moved into the unit on 22 January. Before I forget, my husband got me a washing machine. Yay! :D

February - Not much happened this month. In addition to the stuff we kept in storage, we bought a sofa, some home furnishings and kitchenware to make our unit 'homier'. :)

Kiama Rock Pool

March - I turned a year older, hopefully a year wiser as well. To celebrate, we went on our first road trip south of Sydney -- to Kiama. We had fun, more so my husband, although the blow hole did not 'blow' when we were there. He swam in the rock pool. We had fish & chips and ice cream for lunch.

This month, we started our Christian Life Program (CLP) in preparation for joining Couples for Christ (CFC).


I had blood tests and ultrasound towards the end of the month in preparation for the next step in our TTC journey -- IVF.

April - We consulted with our Fertility Specialist (FS) on 5 April and we finalized the protocol for our IVF/ICSI. We had our orientation on 12 April where a nurse showed my husband and I how to administer the drugs I would be needing (via injection, of course). I started my first injection on 15 April. There was no looking back after that. I had blood test and ultrasound almost every other day. Just for fun(!), I added and I had 7 blood tests and 5 ultrasounds. :))

May - I had egg collection on 2 May and then embryo transfer on 7 May. After that, it was an agonizing wait to find out if I'm pregnant or not. My pregnancy blood test (beta hCG) at the clinic was scheduled for 18 May but I couldn't wait that long (impatient much!) so I did a home pregnancy test on 14 May and the result was positive. My beta hCG confirmed this. My husband and I were so happy. We shared the wonderful news with our immediate family and closest friends. I started acupuncture on 21 May. My all-day sickness started SOON after.

June - We had our 7-week scan on 9 June. This was the first time we saw our 'jellybean' and its heartbeat. Such a precious moment! We graduated from the CLP on 5 June.

July - Our 12-week scan or Nuchal Scan happened on 15 July. I decided to temporarily call our bub Bee until we find out his/her gender. Thank God, the results of the scan came back normal. I had my initial interview at Blacktown Hospital (where I will give birth) on 26 July.

August - We found out that we're having a BOY at our Morphology Scan on 25 August. By this time I was already 19 weeks pregnant. We've decided to name him Jacob Lucas. I had my first doctor visit at the hospital on 30 August.

September - I had my first antenatal check up on 28 September at almost 24 weeks. My husband and I celebrated our 12th Anniversary/6th Wedding Anniversary on the 30th of the month. Happy times!

October - We had our babymoon at Wisemans Ferry from the 16th to the 18th. This month I also started my Aqua Natal Class.

November - We again 'saw' Jacob at our 3D/4D Scan on the 12th. My husband and I attended the first part of Parent Education Session at the hospital on 26 November.

December - The second part of our Parent Education Session happened on the 3rd. Jacob and I gradated from Aqua Natal class on the 6th. We had a growth scan on the morning of the 9th at 34 weeks. Then in the evening, our CFC Family gave us a baby Shower. We had so much fun! :)

As you can see, 2011 has been a great year not only for my husband and I but also for our family. God has given us the biggest blessing of all, Jacob. We can't wait to meet him in a few weeks time! In the meantime, I'm enjoying the remaining weeks of my pregnancy. I know I will surely miss having Jacob inside my tummy. :)

♥♥♥ A Blessed Christmas and a Prosperous New Year from My Family to Yours! ♥♥♥

HPT Gallery

Note: This entry was written on 18 May but I've only just decided to publish it today. :)

Hello! It's been a while since I last made an entry about what happened to our IVF/ICSI journey. Well, it's been an emotional roller coaster all right. My husband and I felt a whole gamut of emotions, especially me since I was the one injecting myself with all those drugs. BUT overall, I feel that it has really been a great cycle. Yes, I had some minor side effects like headache and cramps but they were manageable even without taking any medicine. And we also have two great frozen embryos (for later :)). For all of these, WE PRAISE AND WE THANK THE LORD!

First Response, Early Result / 14 May

 This was the first HPT (home pregnancy test) that I took. As you can see, I labelled it 7dp5dt. It means 7 days post 5-day transfer which basically is a week after a 5-day embryo or blastocyst was transferred to me. I used a FRER (First Response, Early Result) pregnancy test. This HPT is very sensitive that it can detect the pregnancy hormone, hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) 6 days before the missed period. I actually wasn't supposed to test that early but the night before I dreamt that I tested and that I got a BFP (big fat positive!!!). That dream felt so real. The emotions I felt were so real. So when I woke up that morning at around 5:30, i took the test. And I couldn't believe my eyes! It said I was pregnant! To make sure that I wasn't just imagining things, I woke my husband up. It was too early for his liking and it was Saturday but he had no choice. We were over the moon with the results. This was the FIRST TIME EVER that I have gotten a positive result in a HPT.

Confirm / 15 May

 I again tested the following day, but using a different HPT -- Confirm. This HPT is not sensitive like FRER. Infact it said on the leaflet that it can detect pregnancy 14 days from conception of the first day of missed period. Had it said something like that in the box, I wouldn't have bought it. I thought it was also like FRER but only found out that it's not after I have opened the boxes (we bought 2 boxes = 4 tests). I thought the test wouldn't even be able to detect the hCG in me because it was only 13 days since my egg collection. But it did, albeit the faintest line. 

Confirm / 16 May

 I tested everyday until my blood test on the 18th of May. I was afraid the result will change. LOL. I was also sending daily emails to my sister back home just so they are up-to-date with what's happening with me. The result line on the 9dp5dt test was noticeably darker than that of the the day before. :)

Confirm / 17 May

As at 17 May, I have done 4 HPTs. As you can see, the result line is getting darker everyday. 

Confirm / 18 May

This was the last one I took before I had my beta hCG and progesterone blood test that same morning (18 May). And so, as the results of my blood test say, I AM PREGNANT!!! My husband and I are so thankful for this blessing. A huge THANK YOU to all the people who prayed for us and for the success of this cycle. Please continue to do so, that my remaining 8 months of pregnancy be healthy and happy. I can't believe it, I'm going to be a mum! :))

Day 4 Update

While yesterday's update was specific and thorough, today's is a bit vague. And the scientist's call came a bit early too, I had just woken up. Haha!

Good news again! She said that 4 of the embryos have developed further than yesterday. So they're now at the level they want them to be. I'm guessing the morula stage since that's what the booklet says. But then again, each embryo's development is different. So I'm just trusting their judgement on these things. As for the other 4, they have developed a few more cells than yesterday -- just not on the same level. They're not ruling them out yet. I'm hoping and praying the 4 slower embies do catch up by tomorrow. For all of these, we praise and we thank you, Lord! :)

My ET (embryo transfer) is scheduled for 10am tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous but more excited. No more updates from the scientists. Hehe.

I've also booked acupuncture sessions for tonight and tomorrow night. I've been reading and researching about IVF and acupuncture lately. Some girls said it really helped them so I decided to give it a go. I figured it wouldn't hurt to try. Tonight is my first EVER acupuncture session. I'm hoping it'll help me relax and feel more prepared for tomorrow's transfer. My acupuncturist is a lovely man from Castle Hill. I'm so thankful that he was able to accommodate me at such short notice -- I only rang him yesterday. :)

I'm trying something else that I've read about -- positive visualisation. Couldn't hurt, right? And it's free! Positive thoughts all 'round! :)  

Day 3 Update

I just got the call from the scientist about today's update. Can I just say, the scientist went all scientific on me! Haha! I guess she can't help it, she's a scientist after all.

On to today's great news (if I may say so, although I still need to do some research about some of the things she said). So yesterday, all 8 embryos were between 2-4 cells, right? Today's update is a bit complicated so I'll just do it in bullets. :)

• One of the embryos is a bit slower in developing than the rest. Yesterday it had 2 cells, now it has 4 cells which is not that bad at all. The scientist said it might still catch up/develop further so they'll keep it with the rest.
• One embryo has 6 cells, two embryos are at the 7-cell stage and another one has 8 cells.
• Even more fantastic (her words, not mine :D), we now have three embryos at the early morula stage! According to the booklet, the embryos should be at morula stage on Day 4, which is tomorrow. So this is indeed fantastic news! Again, we praise and we thank you, Lord. :) 

I got this statement off the booklet: 
The average number of eggs collected is 9 and from those, on average, we see three healthy embryos develop.
In total, we still have eight embryos on Day 3 for which I am really thankful for. Hopefully some, if not all of them reach blastocyst on Day 5.

Now, time for some IVF lessons. Hehe.

- morula : a solid mass of cells, somewhat like a mulberry in shape, formed by cleavage of an ovum in the early stages of embryonic development (taken from this site)

- blastocyst : the term for an embryo five days after fertilisation which has now developed a special shape with different parts identifiable and a fluid-filled cavity (taken from the IVFAustralia booklet, Your pathway of care) 

I know heaps of people are praying with us, and for that I'm really grateful. :)

We've only just begun and I hope you continue praying with us as we go along this journey.

Day 1 and Day 2 Updates

It's been two days since my EC and as such I have had 2 phone calls from the scientists, one for each day. I would just like to say that it's very nerve wracking waiting for update calls. I'm anxious and hoping for the best but don't I know how I would react if it's not good news.

Anyway, yesterday was Day 1. I received the call around 11am. Two of the eggs weren't mature enough so they didn't bother injecting them at all. Good news is the rest of them, all 8 eggs, fertilised normally overnight. So we now have 8 nice little embryos. We praise and we thank you, Lord! We're over the moon with this news but it's still early stages.

I got the call today, Day 2, a little before 11am. Another good news from the scientist! All 8 embryos are growing nicely. They now have between 2-4 cells which is what she said is normal. We praise and we thank you, Lord!

I just noticed, the scientists tend to use the word 'normal' a lot. Hmmm, I wonder why. So on to Day 3. According to the booklet they gave us, embryos at Day 3 should have 8 cells. But then again everyone is different. I remain hopeful and optimistic. As what I've told my mum through SMS this morning, we must have faith that everything happens according to God's plan. :)

Done with EC

I had my EC this morning at the North Shore Specialist Day Surgery. By God's grace, we've overcome another hurdle. Our journey has just begun and we're taking it one step at a time.

I was a bit worried going into theatre this morning. My last ultrasound on Friday showed only 2 large follicles so I was pleasantly surprised when I woke up in recovery and saw 10 on my left palm! We praise and we thank God! I'm feeling fine, though a bit sore. But I can still manage even without pain reliever. Hopefully the pain eases a bit tomorrow. Before we left the surgery, we spoke with the scientist. She said that of my 10 oocytes (or eggs), 8 would surely be injected (with sperm) while they have to wait if the other 2 will progress further. I sure hope all of them develop into nice embryos. But as they say, all it takes is 1 -- so 1 strong one will be perfectly fine. :)

We were told that we will be given a daily update on our embryos' progress. I'm a bit anxious about getting the first update tomorrow. Praying that it's going to be a good update. If all things go according to plan, my embryo transfer is scheduled on Saturday, 7 May.

Scared

I had another BT (blood test) and US (ultrasound) this morning. My follies (follicles) have grown a bit since last Wednesday but only two are "ready" according to the nurse. The rest are "average". I have one follicle that's still 9mm but the rest are >10mm, just not big enough. At the rate I'm going I'll probably have EC (egg collection) on Wednesday which I think is a bit late since it would be Day 20 of my cycle. But that's not my only concern. During the scan, the nurse found an endometrioma near my left ovary. Now, that's scary. I was just operated on by my FS (fertility specialist) last October for endometriosis!!! I don't understand why it's coming back so soon. I'm afraid they'll tell me that it's going to affect this cycle and that I can't continue. 

I have at least 2 hours before the nurse's call. I'm nervous beyond words and I can feel the tension building in my nape. I won't be surprised if I give myself stiff neck. That's why I decided to write this entry -- so I can at least whinge!!!.

P.S. I want to share this 'quote' I got while I was watching One Tree Hill S08E18 last week :

Every child comes with a message that God is not yet discouraged of us.

Beautiful, right?

Yet Another Post About Jabbing

I'm now on Day 13 of jabbing. I had another blood test (my 6th this cycle) and ultrasound (my 4th) this morning. My follicles are taking their sweet time growing so I'm a bit apprehensive. The nurse said I shouldn't worry much as my body is probably just taking it's time responding to the drugs but I can't help it. She thinks I have to come in for another blood test and ultrasound on Friday and that I'll probably have my egg collection on Monday. I'll have to wait for the nurse's call this afternoon about my results first to confirm this. Hopefully  my oestrogen level is still up.

On to jabbing. I'm getting the hang of it as it has been almost two weeks since I started. Gonal-f is fairly easy to inject as it's a pen-type thing. Cetrotide is another matter altogether. It's a bit complicated as there are steps involved: preparing, mixing and drawing. I'm lucky because my husband does those things for me. I just have to do the jabbing. Thing is Cetrotide stings, a LOT. But it's still fairly manageable. The nurse suggested putting ice on the injection area 10 minutes before jabbing. I haven't tried it yet.

I am now watching Gossip Girl while I (impatiently) await the nurse's call. :)

Queen of Jabs

I'm on Day 5 of Antagonist cycle today. Since the injections are taken at night, it means I've had four injections of Gonal-f so far. I was so afraid the first time I had to do it. My husband wouldn't do it for me. He's afraid of hurting me more, I guess. My hands were shaking, heck my whole body was shaking! I just prayed for the Lord to help me. What do you know, it's not as bad as I anticipated it to be. Don't get me wrong, I still feel nervous whenever it's injection time but somehow I'm getting used to it. Which is a good thing, right? :)

I had another blood test done yesterday morning to check if I could start with the other injection (Cetrotide). A nurse rang me yesterday afternoon to say that I'm not ready for Cetrotide yet and to just continue with Gonal-f. I am booked for another blood test on Wednesday, as well as an ultrasound -- my first this cycle. I have a feeling I'll be ready for Cetrotide come Wednesday afternoon. This means I'll be taking two injections each night, starting Wednesday. What fun! NOT! A friend remarked that soon I'll be queen of needles. I guess she's right. Haha!

My husband and I agree that we should not only hope for the best outcome in this journey, but also keep in mind that we may also get an unfavourable result. We know that if it is God's will then in His time we will have our little bundle of joy. :)

P.S. In observance of Holy Week, my husband and I decided to give up sweets -- chocolates, cakes, pies, ice cream, you name it.  Fruits are exempted as they're healthy and I'm trying to eat healthier nowadays. :)

Green Means Go

The nurse from the clinic rang me this afternoon to say I can start with the Gonal-f injections tonight. She said that our specialist is quite pleased with the results of my blood test this morning. Thank God! We can finally begin this journey.

A friend of mine lent me a book entitled The Heavenly Man. It's a book about Brother Yun. I've only just began reading it and already I feel inspired by his story. This book couldn't have come at a much better time in my life. The injections seem like a big task but I have an even bigger God. :)

Ready As I'll Ever Be - Part 2

Tomorrow morning we're going into the IVFAustralia clinic at Westmead for my first blood test. If the results are good, I'll be injecting my first dose of Gonal-f tomorrow evening. Self-injecting feels like a daunting task. I feel scared. But I know I can do it. I have to do it! :)

P.S. I put part 2 in the title because I have a post last year with the same title. I wrote that entry before my surgery. Seems like I'm in for more surgeries this year. I say BRING IT! I know that the Lord is always with me amidst all these challenges. :)

And Now We Wait

For my period that is. Sorry if this is too much information. ;)

We went to our Orientation Visit with a nurse in the IVFAustralia clinic in the city this morning. I am quite happy because everything was explained in detail -- the timeline, the drugs, the egg collection, the embryo transfer and much more. I also got to practice with the injections. Now I'm not as scared as before, which is good. We've been given yet more readings about IVF -- information overload, really. But I'm not complaining. I want both my husband and I to be as prepared as we can be going into this journey.

I just realized that we, more so I, will need heaps of patience during this process. I'm hoping to develop that as I hate waiting. Wish me/us luck! :)

And So Another Journey Begins

Our TTC (Trying To Conceive) journey is about to take another path -- the IVF path.

After my surgery (hysteroscopy and laparoscopy) last October 2010, our fertility specialist told us to try to get pregnant naturally for about 3 to 4 months. And so we did. Unfortunately, I did not fall pregnant. So last Tuesday we went back to our specialist for a consultation and we all decided to have IVF-ICSI. Our specialist is very optimistic, saying that both my husband and I are still young and that I still have "plenty of eggs". I just turned 31 while my husband is 32. According to the book that IVFAustralia gave us, ICSI or Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection is the fertility technique where a single sperm is selected and directly injected into an egg.

Aside from the book, we were also given a CD about IVF so you can just imagine the information that my husband and I are going through right now so we can be better prepared for IVF. It's not going to be an easy journey. I just hope that no matter what happens, my husband and I will be closer than ever, of course with God in our centre.

Here in Australia, we are very lucky because the majority of the fertility treatment costs are covered by Medicare. It's not to say it will be cheap but still, we're better off here than most countries.

I'm nervous, scared and excited all at the same time. We are going back to the clinic on Tuesday for our Orientation Visit. It's when the nurses will explain our treatment cycle to us, the medications I will need to take and the times I will be required to visit the clinic for blood and ultrasound tests. They'll also teach us how to administer the hormones and other medications through injection. Now I'm a little bit apprehensive about that. I hope I get the hang of it right away. :)

What Are You Thankful For?

I was watching the show Ellen this morning and that very same question popped on the telly. I guess because it’s almost Thanksgiving that’s why. It made me think, even though we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia, likewise in the Philippines. I have a lot of blessings I am thankful for. I can’t even begin to name all but here are some:

-          I am thankful for my husband; ever loving, ever reliable and ever understanding. He is my rock, my best friend in the truest sense. I am thankful that we are both healthy and that my husband has a good job which can support both of us without me having to work. (Note: I well and truly intend to look for a job as soon as we’re settled back in Sydney.)

-          I am thankful for my family in Manila. Despite the distance between us, I feel loved, always. I am thankful that my parents and grandmother are all relatively healthy, same with my brothers and sisters.

-          I am thankful that my operation last October went well. Now we are hopeful that we will be blessed with an addition to our family soon.

-          I am thankful for the opportunity to spend the coming holiday season with family and friends. Time spent with them are truly precious, something no amount of money can buy.

These are just some of the things that come to mind right now. I’m sure I’ve forgotten heaps but you get the picture.

Now it’s your turn. What are you thankful for?

Updates

Just a few updates before I actually forget to write about them. :)

~ I had surgery (laparoscopy & hysteroscopy) last 8th October at the North Shore Specialist Day Surgery. I was scheduled for 7:15am but my husband and I went there early just to be on the safe side. I filled out some forms for admission. We didn't pay for the hospital expenses because it was covered by my health insurance. We were told that the doctors' fee (specialist and anaesthetist) will just be mailed to us. By about half past 7 I was prepped and ready to go into the theatre. Everything happened so fast. It took less than 10 seconds after I was asked to inhale the anaesthesia for me to be knocked out. I guess it was a good thing. :)

When I woke up, the first two questions I asked the nurse were 'Is it over?' and 'Where's my husband?'. When asked how I was feeling, I answered 'hungry'. Hehe. I can't help it. I was famished because I was asked to fast from the night before. Not even water. Not long after I woke up I was transferred to a recovery pod where I was deposited in a very comfortable la-z-boy. Soon my husband joined me in the pod. I was so happy to see him. I guess we were both relieved that it's over. I was given some snacks, which I asked my husband to finish. Hehe. My specialist came over and told me that his suspicions of me having endometriosis were confirmed and that it has been taken care of. He said he will ring me because I probably wouldn't remember anything he said. Bear in mind that I was still under general anaesthesia at that time. :)

By midday, I was discharged and we were on our way 'home'.

~ My specialist rang me on the 14th of October, explaining that the surgery should have increased my chances of getting pregnant by 100%! I don't know if he's just saying that or what but I believe him. I have faith that in God's time I will fall pregnant. He asked if I already had my stitches taken out. I said no because I was waiting for his instructions. My husband and I thought we needed to go back to Sydney for the specialist to take them out and at the same time have the follow up check up. Apparently we didn't need to see him and that I could have the stitches taken out already. So I rang my husband from work and asked him t take me to Tamworth Base Hospital. Good thing they were not busy at that time and I was immediately attended to. The specialist said to give it 3-4 months for me to fall pregnant. If not, we need to go back to him. I'm hoping and praying that it doesn't come to that. :)

~ There are only 38 days left before our holiday. Yay!!! I'm so excited. I can hardly wait to see my family. My homecoming is extra special because for the first time in I don't know how long, the family is complete. My brother who is a seafarer is also home. I will not miss the opportunity to have a family picture taken! :)

~ We are going back to Sydney on the 30th of October. We need to send a box full of goodies to Manila. We were originally planning on putting everything in our luggage but it was too heavy. Too much Cadbury chocolates if you ask me. Hehe. We don't want to risk having excess luggage because it's too expensive so we decided to just send a box ahead of us. We're also attending the baby shower/birthday party of a friend. Can't wait!

Too many things to look forward to. Thank you, Lord for all the blessings you continually bestow upon us.

Ready As I'll Ever Be

As my Facebook status says, I'm packing for a trip I'm not really excited about. Unlike our past Sydney trips when we went just to see and be with friends, this one's different. But I guess I don't really have a choice. If this is what it takes for our TTC journey to be successful, so be it. I'll be asleep anyway. :)

I'm comforted with the thought that I have a wonderful husband and loving family and friends who pray for my well-being, regardless of their location. As the saying goes, this, too shall pass.

Booked!

No, not the kind that can be read. Not even remotely close to that, because I enjoy books. I am (tentatively) booked for a day surgery on the 8th of October. Just a brief history: my husband and I found out that I have endometriosis December of last year. Our specialist wanted to operate immediately but at that time we were flying out to Manila for our holiday. We agreed that I would have the operation once we get back from our hols. As fate would have it the operation was postponed (again) because when we got back to Sydney my husband was told that he was being assigned to Tamworth. It all happened so fast, next thing we knew we weren't Sydneysiders anymore. Sad!

Anyway, we finally decided to have the surgery scheduled two weeks from now. It just a day surgery which means I get to go 'home' the same day. We're planning to leave Tamworth on the 7th, stay for 3 nights at a hotel close to the surgery venue then go back to Tamworth on Sunday the 10th.

I would be lying if I say that I'm not scared. Heck, I've been scared ever since we found out that I need to have the operation. I've never had something like this happen to me ever. The closest I got to being in a hospital was a 4-hour stay at the emergency room because I was having ulcer attacks and no amount of pain killer could numb the pain. I had to be injected with morphine just so I could sleep and not feel anything. But this one's different. Somebody is going to cut into my body! Thank God I would be put under general anaesthesia so I won't feel a thing during the surgery. It's the 'after the surgery' that I'm afraid of. Amidst all my apprehensions and fear, I have faith that God will always look after me. :)